i haven't written in so long it feels like i've forgotten how to write. one year has passed and everything still feels the same.. everything still feels the same with me. i'm still stuck. as much as i don't want to admit it, its happening again.. i'm losing control, again. i don't understand how people can move on from r/s with all the pain in their hearts. if their pain is very much like the pain i'm feeling now how is that even possible? i'm weak, i'm so weak i'm not willing to let go of the person i know isn't good for me. you're not good for me.. took me a couple of months to realise that but you're not good for me. the thing is, i don't know how to leave. everytime i try it feels like my heart is breaking into a million pieces. i wish you'd understand the immensity of my emotions. but you never will, i ought to know by now that you'd never will. you're too caught up with your own anger, your selfishness that you forget me, my heart, my feelings, me. you make me happy, of course you do.. its just always, always according to your mood. your feelings. so everything with you is unpredictable, your anger, your love.. you drive me crazy but i don't wanna leave you, i don't know how to.