“ I just don’t know if i wanna do it anymore, get close to somebody so they can leave again. ”

- One Tree Hill

you're an amazing guy, really. we dont even need to communicate effectively for me to know it. the last person i ever want to hurt is you. because you dont deserve anything like that, you dont deserve all the sadness or pain you've experienced. i want to be there for you, i want to make you happy, except i dont think its up to me. i dont think i've the capacity. i'm afraid that all i'll do is lead you on. i dont even know what i want for myself. how can i love anyone?

i wonder what you tell her. i wonder if they're the same things you used to tell me. i wonder if i still cross your mind when you're with her