i have a lot of thoughts in my mind right now.. and i really want to spill them out. i'm sitting here all sweaty from track and not bathed HA HA with my PI for project work due tomorrow!! but nevermind that.. i need this.
sajc has not been very nice to me. truth is, i cannot stand my class.
i know i chosed this school over masscomm, i know i should be thankful because i had choices. plenty of them. the thing is, i wake up every morning and ask myself, what are you doing. why are you even here. lots and lots of what ifs. i called ngeeann up yesterday to ask if it was alright to go for an interview. they don't accept anymore applications :( i'm holding on by faith alone. seriously. i can get close to tears during school simply because i cannot fit in. they are all surface friends.. and its so hard because 4/5 used to be wonderful. they tell me that i need time, but at this rate, i dont really see how i can relate to them or even go beyond the surface. its not like i didn't try.. its. i dont know. WE JUST CANNOT CLICK. and its not the no i dont trust you enough because i dont know you yet kinda thing, but the i really have nothing much to say to you kind of thing!! sighh i really am dreading these two years with the class..
about holding on by faith alone, i guess its true, that i'm struggling so as to fulfill Your purpose for me in this school. mold me then, give me strength. i cannot do this on my own.
you make me happy everyday. i love you(:
