i have a lot of thoughts in my mind right now.. and i really want to spill them out. i'm sitting here all sweaty from track and not bathed HA HA with my PI for project work due tomorrow!! but nevermind that.. i need this.
sajc has not been very nice to me. truth is, i cannot stand my class.
i know i chosed this school over masscomm, i know i should be thankful because i had choices. plenty of them. the thing is, i wake up every morning and ask myself, what are you doing. why are you even here. lots and lots of what ifs. i called ngeeann up yesterday to ask if it was alright to go for an interview. they don't accept anymore applications :( i'm holding on by faith alone. seriously. i can get close to tears during school simply because i cannot fit in. they are all surface friends.. and its so hard because 4/5 used to be wonderful. they tell me that i need time, but at this rate, i dont really see how i can relate to them or even go beyond the surface. its not like i didn't try.. its. i dont know. WE JUST CANNOT CLICK. and its not the no i dont trust you enough because i dont know you yet kinda thing, but the i really have nothing much to say to you kind of thing!! sighh i really am dreading these two years with the class..
about holding on by faith alone, i guess its true, that i'm struggling so as to fulfill Your purpose for me in this school. mold me then, give me strength. i cannot do this on my own.
you make me happy everyday. i love you(:
Hey stay strong okay! Be positive and feel good in everything you do. It may seem difficult and stupid perhaps but it really really helps trust me. Jiayou! (;
ReplyDeleteP.S We haven't watched any soccer match live yet. Aww!
zijie! haha thank you(: hahhaa ya lor tell u guys about the next match at yishun stadium sometime soon!!
ReplyDeletehihi. shermaine stay weak ! cause you are weak always (: shermaine the pig shermaine the pig shermaine the pig shermaine the pig shermaine the shermaine the pig lets cheer for shermaine the pig :D
ReplyDeleteshermaine tan, i dont have facebook ): you this chou korean fat fat princess, dont update in blog.
ReplyDeleteGUANJIE: i am really angry now!!!!!
ReplyDeletesherlyn: i'm busy! send u online! dont be mean!
eh, i think i'm really late in replying to your post. but anyway, i wanna tell you that you're NOT in this alone. :) i am too, having to go to school everyday and to smile at people when i just wanna shrink at one corner and pretend i don't know what's happening. and it's especially tough when the whole class already has their cliques established. but it's okay. you must stay strong yeah! it's not gonna last like this for the two years. count on God, and when you made this choice, know that it's God's purpose in your life. if not, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN GET INTO THE SCHOOL AT ALL! lol. stand strong, and be the difference. :)
ReplyDeletelove you dear, and i'll be here always.
hannah